Initial B
by Speed King
Summary: Beavis and ButtHead get mysteriously sent to the Initial D world. Stupidity follows.


Highland was sick and tired of Beavis and Butt-Head. Their continual pranks had led the town, and most of its inhabitants, to near destruction, but the two refused to quit. Principal McVicker was contemplating suicide. Their neighbor, Tom Anderson, was in a state of declining health, and his lawn was continually ruined by the two. But it was the local Maxi Mart owner, tired of having his customers terrorized by the two, who only ever bought nachos, and occasionally Fruity Whips, but rarely.

Beavis and Butt-Head were two teenage boys, almost like brothers in the fellowship they carried with each other. Butt-Head, the unofficial but undisputed leader, was short, with long, slicked back brown hair. He had massive nostrils and braces which distorted his face. He almost always wore a black shirt with AC/DC written on it and red shorts.

Beavis was blonde, with a similar hair style, but not slicked back. He had small nostrils and didn't have braces like Butt-Head, and almost always wore a smile, along with a blue Metallica shirt, sometimes a Slayer shirt in the same shade of blue, with gray shorts.

The two lived together in an old, decrepit house which had many cracks in the walls. Trash lay everywhere, and the only furniture in the main room was an old red couch, a lamp (broken), a table, on which sat a TV, Beavis and Butt-Head's source of entertainment, aside from breaking stuff or torturing their neighbor, Mr. Anderson.

It was a Saturday in Highland, the quiet morning air of Beavis and Butt-Head's residence being broken only by the soft snores of the two and the noises of the TV, turned down low. The shows were on commercial break…it was about eleven in the morning. Highland was happy and carefree…and then Beavis and Butt-Head awoke.

Butt-Head sat up first, rubbing his eyes, then he smacked his friend upside the head, waking him up.

"AAAGHH!!"

"Uh…huh huh…dumbass."

"Dammit, Butt-Head, I was gonna score!!! There were these chicks, and then they were like, gonna get naked!!!"

"Butt munch," said Butt-Head. "I'm hungry. Let's go get some nachos!!"

Beavis and Butt-Head walked into the Maxi Mart.

"Get us some nachos…and make it snappy!" Butt-Head called to the greasy owner, who scowled in return and walked to the back room.

The owner turned his back and pulled a small vial out of his shirt pocket. "All right…this oughta get these kids outta my hair…" he murmured under his breath with a grin equivalent to that of a doctor who'd cured cancer. Opening the vial, he sprinkled its contents equally on both nacho portions.

"That'll be $2.50," he grunted, hardly containing his inner joy. Beavis reached into his pocket and withdrew three crumpled dollar bills and the owner slid two quarters back in return.

"…Have a nice day…" he said with a sly smirk, then left.

The two walked outside, bell twinkling as the doors opened, then closed. They blinked their eyes in the bright sun's light, and then sat down on the curb in front of the store with their breakfast, chewing the corn chips and cheese loudly.

"Hey Beavis…these nachos taste pretty good."

"Yeah…really!" Beavis said, eating the nachos faster and faster until the hot yellow cheese was smeared all over his features.

Butt-Head laughed. "You've got cheese all over you, butt munch."

Beavis stopped eating, a concerned look on his messy face. "Uhh…tell me where it is."

Butt-Head drew out his hand, about to point, but instead, punched Beavis full in the face.

"Aaargh!! Dammit!!! Now, bunghole, show me where it really is."

"Uh…huh huh…right here."

He threw another punch at Beavis.

"I swear, I'll rip your bunghole off!!!!!"

Beavis attacked Butt-Head ferociously as Stewart walked up, the nachos left unguarded as the two slugged it out on the sidewalk.

"Sweet! Nachos," Stewart said, taking Butt-Head's box, which was much fuller than Beavis's.

Stewart was shorter than Beavis or Butt-Head, and was a total wuss. He had blonde hair, a wide face, wore a black Winger shirt with gray shorts and black sneakers. Despite the fact that the only friends Beavis and Butt-Head had were each other, the advances by Stewart were mostly ignored…except for when Stewart found something cool to do, like that time he got satellite TV. But that episode ended when Stewart's mom kept turning off all the 'violence' on it.

Beavis rolled on top of Butt-Head and pulled on his hair, but Butt-Head grabbed Beavis's face and struggled around.

Suddenly, the trio found they felt weird…Beavis stopped attacking his only friend as he was lifted into the air and warped through time and space…to another story.

"Where are we?!" Stewart asked, confused.

"Uhhh…hmmm…" Butt-Head said, scratching his chin.

They stood in front of a row of small apartments, lined up like dominos, with no space in between them.

The closest one had a white sign overtop of the doorway, and parked next to it was a black and white hatchback coupe which didn't look too familiar to the three.

The sign read in Chinese symbols, which Butt-Head wouldn't normally be able to read. But somehow, he discerned them.

"Deep fried…hand made…uh huh huh…_hand made_…Fujiwara Tofu."

"What are we doing here?" Stewart asked in his annoying, whiny voice.

"I…uhh, think we're in the wrong story," said Butt-Head in his lower voice.

"Beavis! What are you doing out there?" came a call from inside the nearest shop. A tall man, with black hair and eyes that were forever closed (reasons unknown) stepped out, wearing a long white apron. He wiped his hands with a towel and held up a paper cup full of water. "Delivery time. What are you waiting for?"

"And why are your friends here?"

"Uhhh…hmmm?"

Stewart looked over to see another sports car, this one a notchback two-tone coupe with wide headlights that wrapped around the sides of the car. In between the headlights sat a badge that read _SILVIA_. The car had a long sticker above its rear wheel, reading _Akina Butt Stars_.

"Um, I think we're like, in the wrong story," said Beavis to the man, who was by now looking angry. "We should…uh…y'know, go now. Thank you…hehe…drive thru," he finished in a lower voice.

"What are you talking about!?" the man yelled, and slapped Beavis in the side of the head, causing him to flinch. "Get in the Trueno and make your delivery or you're going to be late!"

"Dammit!" said Beavis, scratching his head where he'd been slapped. The man raised his hand again, so Beavis jumped into the car.

"Idiot! What are you doing? The drivers' side is…" he pointed, "…that way!"

"Ummm…oh yeah."

Butt-Head and Stewart watched as Beavis fired up the Trueno's willing 4A-GEU.

As soon as the trunk was filled with tofu, the older man shut the trunk and Beavis gunned the engine and headed out up to Mount Akina.

Butt-Head and Stewart looked over to the man, who was about to re-enter his home. "Uh…what's your name again?"

"Bunta…I'm Beavis's dad."

As the white and black Trueno pulled away, Bunta shut the door. "Uhh…Stewart, I think we should go home now."

"Where do we live?"

"Umm…well, wait, I know where we live!"

They hopped into the awaiting Silvia and Butt-Head drove them away.


End file.
